With these feet I trudge onward.

I'm crazy. Out of my mind and element. Boredom has taken over. I'm searching, searching, and searching for something to occupy my mind and my hands, but have found nothing. I need and want to order my Ap books right now, but my dad wants to wait until the holiday noise subsides. I'm coming to find that reading is the only thing that passes the time with joy.



--Megan

When in Bumfuck, Egypyt..

Do as the bumfucks do.

Why do I use this term? Well... My dear friends Jenna and Billie use it. Clever, witty, and comical. I love my friends.

MMM. Lemon tea. Weird yet essential. My addiction grows with power. Lately I've traded food for coffee and tea. The pattern is two cups of tea and one cup of coffee, only today it was the opposite. Life isn't about the drama, sex, or infinite moments. It's about the damn tea. :) Only teasing. It's sex.

I'm starting to get over my whole 'lost' complex. Life is life. Live it. Have fun, try everything, and never forget to laugh. Never spend time being bitching (unless your with your select few. It tends to fire up the conversation and form bridges, and quite possibly strengthen morals.)

Hopefully tonight will be filled with warm, rainy goodness. Staying up to watch The Boosh. Finally.... British humor usurps American humor ten fold.


Question:
What movie changed your life greatly?


--Megan

Once there lived a girl.

Life confuses me greatly. Especially now. I thought I had myself figured out. Only now I feel as if I have completed an odd 134 degree rotation. I hate being categorized as an astoundingly immature teenager. I know I'm 'supposed' to feel on top of the world and then knocked down in two seconds flat, but to be frank I do not feel I fit into that slot. Escaping it all will not solve anything. I will still be the broken shell of a human being. Who needs therapy when they analyze themselves to the point of despair. I am stuck. I need a trip. I need to be alone. I want to soar.

This builing smells so familar.

Today, today I am a senior in high school.
To be quite honest... I'm not sure how to handle this feeling.
For the most part, or the dominant emotion in this whole conundrum would be the want and urge to get out of my current surroundings. I feel my own confusion, awkwardness, and anxiousness will lessen when I venture out into a new environment in which no one really knows me. I hate feeling awkward, shy, and odd around people. I'm not sure what to do. The only people I seem to be myself around are my friends and family, but still... why can I not act 'normal' around others.

The recessive side of the ordeal would be the fact that I will no longer have these 'good years' ever again. You dream of your high school graduation and such your entire life, but now that it's here.. I feel unprepared, or perhaps perplexed.

For right now I'm standing still. I want to work on myself. Life is beginning. I have a lot of things to sort. I need to be alone. Alone on an island where I can think, listen, and most of all day dream. I haven't day dreamed in almost 9 months. I miss my old self. I want to know her again.

--Megan

Where no one knows my name.

So lately I've felt a bit.. progressive. I am working forward, and trying my hardest at everything I pursue. With this being said, I must say I've become a tad (more so) with my personality/study habits. I find myself studying like mad, obsessing, and anxious for my exams. Generally, I try to not possess these characteristics, for characteristic one and two inflame the third to the max. Eh. Whatever. My main reason for all of this non-sense is self under appreciation. I find myself struggling to prove to myself that I am superior to that of my high school peers. I hope when I venture off to college I will be capable of living a carefree, quiteish life without the pressure of living up to those I have known all of my life. Eh.. Who am I to write this massive paragraph. I really know nothing.... or so it might appear.

I wish I was 24.

Song of the hour:
"Sam Malone" by City and Colour.

--Megan